It is important to re-define success in the job search process, so that you can actually win.
Success, like any value, has rules attached to it. Rules that you apply and that tell you whether or not you allow yourself to feel that fantastic emotion. Many people have rules that make it almost impossible for them to feel that value, whether it is success, love, happiness etc. It’s important to re-engineer the benchmarks for your values to allow yourself to feel these values on a regular basis. When success is almost always out of reach.
Some professionals think they had “not done well at interview”. In their words, when asked, they say they had “failed” because they had not been invited to a second interview. In such situation, success becomes a very important value and knowing what rules are around feeling successful is the key.
If also asked: “What has to happen for you to feel successful at interview?” They will reply with a listed criteria such as:
- To be liked by the interviewer
- To be invited back for second interview, and any subsequent interviews
- To be given a job offer, even if it’s a job I don’t particularly want
To feel this way is to essentially set themselves up for a fall. This is especially the case given many of these things were out of their control, since they can’t control whether the interviewer likes them, whether they will get invited back for second interviewer, and they certainly can’t control whether they get a job offer!
Re-engineering rules for feeling successful is crutial. Your criteria rather include whether you got well prepared for interview; whether you used your pre-prepared value-add messages; whether you were on time to interview and so on and so forth.
You will note that these new rules can all perfectly be within your control and that you only have to do one of them to feel successful. This would put you onto an amazing success roll, and make subsequently feel far more positive. So have a look at your rules around feeling successful at interview. Ask yourself the question: What needs to happen for me to feel successful in interview? Is this realistic and in your control? If not, take the time to reconsider what is necessary for you to feel successful at interview. Re-define success in a way that you can win.